Present Tense
by vaguelyaugustinian
Summary: A collection of snapshots from the lives of Hazel Grace and Augustus. Current chapter: Hazel and Augustus take a late-night trip to Funky Bones.
1. Present Tense

Augustus Waters bolted upright, clutching his chest and heaving watered-down coughs. His parents groaned; it had been a rough couple of days. Everyone knew Gus was nearing the edge, nearing the time when he would walk slowly up to the cliff and then jump off without warning. He was already in the hospital, and had been for two whole days. That meant two whole days of coughing and heart palpitations and monitors and constant beeping that reminded Augustus and his family he only had a little bit of time left. However, during those two days, nobody had felt as though Gus was there yet. He hadn't reached the cliff. Hazel came in and spent hours upon hours talking and laughing with her Gus, trying to get as much time with him as she could. His parents understood, they knew how in love those two were. Still, when it came to the night that was almost positively Augustus' last, they kept her away. Yes, Emily Waters called Hazel to tell her it could be the last night, but she held the girl from visiting, as she didn't want her to feel more depressed than she would be anyways. So when the final night came, Hazel wasn't there.

Heaving coughs echoed throughout the room, and Emily placed a hand on her son's back, hoping to soothe the pain that was described as a fat man wearing a stiletto standing in the middle of Augustus' chest, but the pain never left. Eventually, the coughing stopped.

"It's so unfair," Gus said bluntly. He took a sharp intake of breath and winced.

"I know, but-" Emily was cut off by a more powerful Gus voice.

"Cancer is so goddamned UNFAIR!" he rumbled, "I'm a good person, I deserve to be with Hazel without worrying which one of us is going to die first. I deserve to have a shot at growing old with her, but no, I can't, because something that is made of me is killing me, and we can't figure out how to stop it. It's SO unfair." His voice was weak.

"Augustus," Mark Waters began.

"When I die, make sure Hazel knows how much I love her," Gus whispered.

"Of course, Gus, we'll tell her how much you loved her." his mother said.

"No, no, not _loved_, mom, _love_. Present-tense."


	2. Little Infinity

Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace were situated in the former's basement. His arms were draped across her stomach and back, while her head was rested on his heaving (and dreadfully painful) chest. Hazel liked to be so close to her boyfriend's eyes; she couldn't tell he was sick when she was that close. Silence fell around the pair, who took up most of Augustus' bed, until he was the one to shatter it.

"Is it bad that I almost hoped you'd end up," he paused, "pregnant after the Love Night?" Hazel suspected that Augustus was anticipating a loud and shocked response from her, judging by his pause and quick little breaths.

"No, I thought about that too. It's hard not to, I guess, but I don't think I was _hoping_. You know, Having Cancer is a full-time job that no child would help," she said, watching Gus' chest deflate in an exasperated sigh.

"Good. I mean, I wouldn't want to make Having Cancer harder for you than it already is, but, I mean, imagine knowing that there was a little piece of the both of us running around at your parents' house. She'd be our little infinity, you know?" he mused thoughtfully, eyes glazing over at what Hazel presumed was his little daydream.

"I know. God, Augustus, I wish every day that we could have a future together, and I suppose a child would be a bit of a future, but can you imagine her visiting the graves of her dead parents?" Hazel asked quietly. Augustus was silent.

"That would really put a damper on the whole 'perfect little infinity' thing, wouldn't it?" he laughed. Hazel did not. Dying was far too real for her.

"It would indeed," she said instead. Her love pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"So how about some Counterinsurgence?" he asked.

"Sounds brilliant."


	3. What You Wanted

What You Wanted

Augustus' POV

Slightly AU

**Author's Note: Guys, go listen to "What You Wanted" by Onerepublic! That song is fab. I imagine it being from Augustus' point of view about Hazel. :) **

From the very first day I saw Hazel Grace, I knew she was something different. I mean, I hoped she wouldn't Caroline Mathers-me, but I ended up doing the former to her, so that's ironic. Despite our cancertastic futures (or not), Hazel and I jumped for it. And damn, did we fall. She was so beautiful, and smart, too. She was also kind, funny, compassionate... the list goes on and on. I could literally write a book about all of the things I love about Hazel Grace. Unfortunately, I did not get the time to learn everything I loved about her; nor did I get the time to write about them. Cancer is a bitch, and time is a slut. She screws everybody.

Anyways, Hazel and I were in her bedroom after having gone out for dinner. I was ridden with cancer, as was she. It was rather cold outside, and we both decided that laying in bed would be an excellent idea, so we did.

"Hazel Grace, toss me those sweatpants," I nodded towards a pair of my gray basketball sweatpants that were lying on her bedroom floor. Probably from the last time I was at her house (it seemed I was there quite often).

She tossed them over, and I shamelessly stepped out of my black dress pants to put them on. Hazel just continued to dig through her dresser, searching for pajamas. Eventually, she found some, a light blue t-shirt and purple plaid bottoms, and stripped down like I had to put them. When you have cancer and are around someone you love, you really don't care about modesty. I learned not to from endless hospital visits where I had to put on a gown in front of many people, and I assumed Hazel had as well. The fact that we've seen each other in less than underwear helps also.

"Do you happen to have a sweatshirt of mine?" I asked, my eyes scanning Hazel's floor and closet.

"Yeah, I'm sure I do," she laughed. Eventually, she found one, a Butler's basketball sweatshirt, and handed it to me.

"Thank you very much, Hazel Grace," I smiled, and pressed a kiss to her lips.

"Of course," she whispered. We fell onto her bed, the pair of us, and crawled under the covers, them billowing up around us as we did. I unfastened my prosthetic and placed it on the floor, next to a green nightstand with _An Imperial Affliction _on the top. Instead of making any move to sleep with her, I wrapped my arms around Hazel's middle and pulled her close to me. We stayed like that for a while, me placing random kisses in her hair, and her tracing circles on my chest.

"This, I'm sure, is extremely cheesy, but do you know how much I love you, Hazel Grace?" I asked finally, my voice somewhat muffled by my girlfriend's hair.

"I know, Augustus. Do you know how much _I _love _you_?" she asked in return.

"I'd hope so," I said.

"I would too," she responded.

"I would give anything to have a forever with you, Hazel Grace." She was silent for a little while, and then spoke.

"Cancer is such a bastard," her voice was small.

"It is. Who does it think it is, walking around here taking the lives of innocents?" I boomed, becoming angry.

"Cancer wants to live like we do," Hazel said. I felt a sigh escape my lips.

"If it were a person, it'd be cruel and selfish," I decided. Hazel nodded into my arm.

"Definitely," she said.

"And I would commit murder and kill it off if it meant we could have a forever," I smiled, liking the idea of my love and I growing old together.

"Would you really?" she asked, giggling.

"If that's what you wanted," I grinned, "I would do anything for you, if it's what you wanted." Hazel smiled.

"I love you, Augustus Waters," she whispered into my chest.

"And I you, my beautiful Hazel Grace."


	4. Sun

Hazel Grace woke up early on a Friday morning, due to the sunlight pouring through her bedroom window. Rather than being a kraken and frantically getting up to pull down the shade, hair a mess and eyebrows furrowing, she took the time to lay peacefully in bed. One of Augustus' big basketball tee shirts was draped across her small torso, dwarfing it. Still, Hazel liked it, because it smelled like him. Like her lanky, beautiful Gus. He was so lovely, surprising her with a Dutch-themed picnic and the invitation to join him on a trip to Amsterdam and _the _Peter Van Houten's house.

Hazel picked up her phone, searching through her voice mails until she found one from Augustus.

_"Hey Hazel Grace, I tried to get in touch with you and you didn't answer. Anyways, call me back, hope everything's okay"_.

She smiled at Augustus' voice, and then jumped when her phone started singing a song by the Hectic Glow, which was Augustus' ringtone.

"Would you care to join me for a cup of coffee?" his voice rang out upon Hazel's "hello".

"Where and when?" she asked, as a confirmation of her attendance.

"My house in twenty minutes?"

"I'll see you in twenty minutes."

"Don't bother to change out of pajamas, it's much more fun that way," Augustus said. Hazel laughed.

"Okay," she smiled.

"Okay," he said back, and Hazel could practically hear the smile in his voice.

"Okay," she was finally the first one to hang up.


	5. You Lied

You Lied

Hazel Grace was staring.

"You lied to me," she whispered to the picture of Augustus on her bedside table.

"You said you'd fight it! You said you'd hang around to annoy me for a long time! I am _never _annoyed anymore," she said plainly, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks.

"I miss you, goddammit!"

"Hazel, honey, are you okay?" Mrs. Lancaster asked from her daughter's doorway.

"He lied to me," Hazel whimpered, defeated. Her mother saw the tears, and the picture of Augustus, and didn't ask for permission before entering Hazel's room.

"He lied to me," the broken girl repeated.

"Honey, everybody lies," Mrs. Lancaster begged, trying to get her daughter to feel better. Not very deep inside, she knew how badly Augustus' death had killed Hazel, and that killed _her._

"He said he'd be okay, he said he'd fight it!" Hazel said, her voice becoming stronger, but somehow more broken.

"Hazel, we all make promises we can't keep-"

"BUT HE SAID HE'D BE HERE AND NOW HE'S GONE! He said 'okay'. He said 'okay'." Hazel's face was now red and puffy, covered in her tears.

"Oh, Hazel," her mother whispered, gathering her into her arms.

"The world is not a wish-granting factory," Hazel finally muttered. Mrs. Lancaster knew it wasn't, but oh how she wanted it to be.


	6. The City Built by the Dead

The City Built by the Dead

AU

"This is so AMAZING! This is always going to be amazing!" Augustus Waters said of the view from his airplane window. Hazel giggled and resisted the urge to kiss her boyfriend's cheek. Mrs. Lancaster looked on, but didn't say anything. The trio was on their way to Amsterdam for the second time. Peter Van Houten, being a more sobered-up and compassionate man, had _actually _invited them back to Amsterdam to _actually _tell Hazel and Gus an _AIA _ending, which he had _actually _spent time thinking about. He also paid for their trip, which Augustus was thrilled with. It slightly made up for him being an absolute douche at their last meeting.

"Last time I said something like that, you kissed me," Augustus recalled, grinning at Hazel. She rolled her eyes, but planted a kiss on Gus' cheek anyways. Her mother cleared her throat loudly, but when Hazel looked over at her, she was smiling.

"I'm just going to take a sleeping pill and let you two have at it," Mrs. Lancaster sighed, popping a little red pill into her mouth and taking a sip of water. Hazel swatted at her mother's shoulder, laughing.

"Excellent!" Gus whispered in his girlfriend's ear. Mrs. Lancaster pretended not to have heard the comment (which she actually thought was rather adorable), and placed her head deep into her neck pillow, drowning out the sounds of the other passengers. She was out within minutes.

"Have you thought of what you think Van Houten's going to tell us?" Hazel asked. Augustus sank into his chair, smiling thoughtfully.

"That ending really isn't very predictable," he said finally. Hazel nodded.

"You're right, but what do you _want _to happen?" she asked.

"I want what any morally correct person would; a happy ending. I want Anna's mom to recover from her child's death and to marry the Dutch tulip man, then settle down into a long and happy marriage in Amsterdam and have another child, whose middle name is Anna regardless of the gender," Augustus decided.

"I agree, that would be a wonderful ending," Hazel said.

"Personally, I just hope it isn't some shit Van Houten makes up on the spot," her boyfriend looked at her, waiting for a response.

"I hope so too," she immediately answered. Everyone wants a happy ending, even those who know it's sometimes impossible.

"What do you think will happen?" Augustus asked, turning his head to look out of the plane's little window.

"I don't know. Some part of me thinks this is too good to be true, and that Van Houten is going to send us away in his drunken state with some random crap that he found on the back of a Vodka bottle," Hazel said as Gus nodded, "but some part of me thinks he's changed a bit, and has an actual idea of an ending for us."

"I hope he does. You deserve one," Gus said.

"So do you, you spent your wish on that trip," Hazel decided.

"I spent that wish on _us_, Hazel Grace. And look at us now!"

"Then I think that wish was spent spectacularly."

"I know it was," Augustus laughed, leaning over to kiss Hazel on the mouth.

"I love you so much," she whispered into his neck.

"I love you so much too, Hazel Grace. Okay?" Gus whispered back.

"Okay." Hazel's face lit up with a genuine smile; Augustus' words of love would never fail to make her happy, which in turn made him happy, as his girlfriend's smile was one of his favorite of her features.

"So, do you think I'll get a repeat of what happened after the miserable fail of the Van Houten Meeting last time?" Gus wondered hopefully, Hazel noticing a playful smirk on his lips.

"You mean going to the Anne Frank House? I don't know if I want to climb those stairs again," Hazel giggled. She knew exactly what Augustus meant by a repeat of last time, she just liked seeing him squirm.

"No, no, what happened _after _that," he insisted. Hazel laughed and pretended to forget what had happened afterwards.

"You know," Augustus said, lowering his voice to barely above a whisper, "the Love Night."

"I know," Hazel whispered back to her boyfriend, "if you keep being as Augustinian as you are, there's a good chance you'll get a repeat." The look on Augustus' face was priceless.

**Author's Note: So YEAH, next chapter is going to be part 2 of the Amsterdam trip. What do you think, is Van Houten going to be a prick and ramble about tortoises rather than _AIA, _or has he become a better man than he was? Hmmmm. Let me know what you think! :) Just so you all know, if Augustus does happen to get a repeat of the Love Night, it's not going to be rated M at all. I don't write smut. See you guys soon!**


	7. Tasting the Stars: Amsterdam Part 2

Time Turners

**This chapter is dedicated to Megan and Liz Mace for their beautiful songs, "Look What You Started" and "Love You Like Me". x**

Augustus, Hazel, and Mrs. Lancaster were staying at the same hotel as the time before: The Filosoof. However, they did not end up in the same rooms. Hazel and her mother were staying in the Beeckman suite, one dedicated to Dutch philosopher Isaac Beeckman, who had decided that matter was composed of atoms. He, of course, turned out to be correct. Hazel found it odd that a man who had discovered the answers to one of the greatest questions had nothing but a room in a hotel named after him. There weren't even works of his on the shelf above the bed. The room was composed of a king sized bed covered in elegant blue and white floral bed covers, two white bedside tables with fancy lamps, a long white dresser with a silver mirror hanging above it, and a white armchair with silver pillows in the corner. A very elegant room indeed. But no place for a philosopher. The only thing he would've been proud of, Hazel thought, is that he knew what the furniture was made out of. Peter Van Houten had paid for it. Hazel wasn't sure if he was a compassionate man, or if he had lost his mind.

Augustus was staying in the Achterhuis room on the first floor. Apparently, Van Houten thought stairs would be a problem, and forgot there was an elevator. Augustus thought he just liked to point out his disability. The Achterhuis room had a shelf full of Achterhuis' work, which had to do with utopianism, along with a queen sized bed covered in plush white bed sheets, a small wooden dresser, and two wooden bedside tables. Not as fancy as the Beeckman room, but still quite nice.

"This place never fails to take my breath away," Hazel announced upon entering the hotel's lobby. Augustus cracked a smile.

"Pun intended?" he asked.

"You know me," Hazel responded. Gus nodded in agreement.

"Alright, let's take our stuff up to our room, Hazel!" Mrs. Lancaster said enthusiastically. She was no less excited for this trip than she had been for the last one, though she was a bit nervous about the possibility of Van Houten being an ass hat again. Still, she had lavish plans: fancy dinners, canal rides, museums, parks... you name it, Mrs. Lancaster wanted to do it.

"I think we'll need to take a trip to Oranjee over these next few days," Augustus mused. Hazel's eyes widened as she nodded frantically.

"Absolutely. There is no way I'm missing out on a chance to indulge in their fantastic food," she said.

"You know, I'd like to try this food that you talk so much about," Mrs. Lancaster decided.

"Of course, Mrs. L," Augustus smiled, "but if you don't mind, Hazel and I will have to find some place to have a marvelously romantic dinner."

"Gus!" Hazel warned nervously. Her mother just smiled.

"No problem, Gus. I'm sure you'll find a place to have a marvelously romantic dinner," Mrs. Lancaster said, careful to rub her knowledge of the relationship in her daughter's face. Augustus smirked.

"Would you like us to bring your luggage up to your room, Miss?" two bellboys asked of Frannie Lancaster.

"Wow, yes, please, that would be great! Thank you," she agreed kindly. The men piled each suitcase onto a cart, grabbed a spare room key, and loaded into the elevator.

"Hazel Grace, would you mind accompanying me to my room?" Augustus asked.

"Not at all, Augustus," Hazel replied. She took her boyfriend's hand, and he led her to room number five on the first floor.

Upon entering, Gus threw his suitcase and jacket on the bed haphazardly, and pulled out his phone to reference a restaurant in town.

"There's this fantastic looking place called 'Greetje' not too far from here," he announced after several minutes of silence.

"How expensive is it?"

"Manageable."

"Excellent. I'm jet lagged horribly, I think I need a nap," Hazel said.

"Shall we head up to your room?"

"Indeed."

In the Beeckman room, Hazel and Augustus met Hazel's mom, who had finished unpacking their suitcases.

"I'm exhausted," Hazel expressed on entering the room.

"Take a nap, sweetheart," her mom said. She nodded in agreement, and Augustus pressed a kiss to her forehead before backing out of the room.

Greetje was just three blocks from the Hotel Filosoof. It was this beautiful brick building facing the canal, but no tables were outside. Instead, the restaurant's interior was lavishly gold and teal; extremely fancy. Hazel was wearing a gorgeous light blue capped sleeve dress, which Augustus stared at for ten minutes upon seeing ("you in that dress is like _woah_", he had exclaimed), while he was wearing the same suit he had on the last Amsterdam dinner outing. His death suit. Hazel didn't mind, Augustus in that suit was like _woah_.

The usher steered the couple to their table, which was adorned with two flutes of champagne.

"I'm quite enjoying the loveliness of this restaurant," Gus remarked, sipping his bubbly stars.

"It's not particularly Oranjee-like, however," Hazel whispered across the table.

"Good observation," Gus whispered back before his lips touched Hazel's forehead. She breathed while Augustus' lips were pressed to her forehead; Hazel was never breathless when he placed a little kiss on her forehead, but it was such a simple gesture that was so filled with emotion that it made her a little bit weak.

"Welcome to Greetje, lovely young couple," the waiter began, making the pair blush, "we have a complimentary bottle of champagne for you, and may I present you with an appetizer?"

"Hazel Grace?" Augustus asked.

"I'd like to try the hot lighting warm cookies," Hazel said, eyes trailing the menu. Gus nodded with her in affirmation.

"Brilliant! I shall bring the dishes out very shortly. Enjoy the wine!" the waiter exclaimed enthusiastically. Augustus assumed it to be an act.

"Here's to us, Hazel Grace. Here's to the incredible year that I've had the absolute pleasure of spending with you, and here's to what I hope will be many more of those years. Okay?" he toasted, lifting his flute of sparkling stars.

"The pleasure's all mine, Augustus Waters. Okay," Hazel agreed. The pair sipped, closing their eyes to take in the crispness and sweetness of the champagne.

"The stars are bright tonight, Hazel Grace," Augustus stated peacefully, an aura of happiness glowing around him.

"Indeed they are," Hazel smiled. There was nothing she loved more than being in the company of her Augustus.

"Amsterdam is truly a magical city. Even when Van Houten was a dick, the city was not." Augustus' smile faded a little bit, replaced by a slight grin of wondering.

"Do you still stand by your opinion of no afterlife, Hazel Grace?" Gus asked, setting his flute of champagne down on the freshly pressed white linen tablecloth.

"I'm not entirely sure. I've always believed that being around a person you admire can shape the way you look at things, and being around you certainly has. I still don't believe in an entire Heaven where people play harps and ride on unicorns, but I don't believe in nothing. I believe in a Capital-S Somewhere," the girl with the cannula admitted truthfully. Her boyfriend looked entirely pleased.

"As do I," he said. Just seconds later, the waiter came over with two dishes of steaming food, which looked delicious.

"Your warm cookies, Mr. and Mrs. Waters," he explained, setting the dishes down.

"Thank you," Augustus grinned.

"The pleasure is mine. May I take your dinner orders?" the waiter asked.

"Certainly. Hazel Grace?" Augustus was always a gentleman like that, making sure Hazel was the first one to get what she asked for.

"I would like the Limberg white asparagus al la Flamande without the ham," Hazel decided. When the waiter looked slightly confused, she added, "I don't eat meat," and he nodded in approval.

"Excellent. And for you, sir?"

"The Hallibut fillet, please," Augustus said as he handed the waiter his and Hazel's menus.

"Wonderful. I will put your orders in right now, Mrs. and Mr. Waters."

"Why do they keep doing that?" Hazel asked when the waiter was gone.

"Doing what?" Gus wondered, digging into his warm cookies.

"Calling us 'Mrs. and Mr. Waters'," Hazel said. She too dug her fork into a cookie.

"It's meant to be, Hazel Grace," Gus snickered, flicking his eyebrows, "this is delicious, by the way." Hazel laughed, but took a bite. Her face lit up in pleasure.

"It's _amazing_," she grinned.

"You're amazing. That was cheesy, but maybe we should just get married and call it official," Gus joked. Sort of.

"You'd think our young looks would give the fact of us not being married away," Hazel stated.

"Or the fact that you don't have a ring," Augustus added.

"That too. People can be so vapid."

"They can. But, apparently, they are capable of cooking incredible hot cookies, so I am perfectly alright with these vapid people."

"I agree. These vapids are wonderful."

"Hazel Grace, tell me about your old school friends," Augustus said suddenly. It had just donned on him that he didn't know anything about Hazel's friends.

"Right. Okay, so there's Kaitlyn, who was my best friend right up until I met you, and she's this seventeen-year-old Indianapolis teenager who you would swear is a twenty-five year old British socialite stuck in her tall, curvy, and gorgeously tanned body," Hazel explained.

"She sounds delightful," Gus laughed.

"She actually is. You know, she knew who you were before I met you."

"Did she now?"

"Indeed."

"That's not particularly surprising. I am an incredibly popular individual."

"I wonder why."

"Personally, I think it's the fact that I am amazingly charming and hilarious."

"It's mostly your good looks."

"Yeah, those too. They're devastating, really. Did you know, Hazel Grace, there is only one person in this entire room who is more attractive than I am?"

"Oh, really? I'd like to challenge that, as I'm convinced you are the most attractive person in this room."

"Well, as often as you are right, you're not this time."

"Wonderful. Tell me, who is this more attractive person?"

"You," Augustus whispered.

And then they were kissing. It occurred to Hazel that a restaurant may not be the most proper or appropriate place to kiss your boyfriend, but that didn't stop them. Since when did Hazel and Augustus follow rules? Soon, they broke apart, and saw their waiter gliding over with plates of food.

A deep purple one holding gorgeous white asparagus, boiled potatoes, and boiled eggs all layered in a Heavenly-smelling buttery sauce was placed in front of Hazel, while another deep purple one holding a halibut filet covered in some sort of coating, boiled carrotts, and a pile of mashed potatoes adorned with little onions and laced with hollandaise sauce was placed in front of Augustus, who whistled appreciatively.

"Enjoy your meal," the waiter said as he removed the appetizer's dishes.

"This looks AMAZING," Hazel sighed.

"To you," Augustus cheered, holding up his champagne glass. Hazel held up her half-empty one as well, saying "and you". And then they dug in, both muttering "I think I've died" and "it's like someone holy cooked us a meal" and "what is this life" while chewing. It was good. Towards the end, though they were both stuffed beyond belief, Hazel and Augustus seemed to be able to make room for a marvelous crème brûlée, which they shared. When they walked out of the restaurant, bill paid by the oh-so-kind Peter Van Houten, they were both incredibly full of delicious food.

"What a night," Augustus said of the stars.

"My thoughts, dear Brutus, are not in the stars, but in ourselves," Hazel whispered thoughtfully.

"What a shame that is." Gus' eyes were trained on his girlfriend's face.

The pair sat down at a bench in front of the canal, happily watching boats go by.

"I am in love with you, Augustus Waters. I've told you that I love you multiple times, but I've never quite said I was in love with you. And I am, I'm completely, head-over-heels in love with you." Hazel said truthfully and bluntly, her head resting on Gus' shoulder.

"That's very relieving, Hazel Grace, because I am in love with you too."

Peter Van Houten's house looked very much the same as it had almost a year earlier. Hazel still wasn't completely convinced that he had changed at all and written an ending for Anna, and the still-present bags of letters in Van Houten's otherwise pristine front hallway only added to that frustration. However, he was quite glad to see her and Augustus, smiling and ushering them inside with a cheerful, "come in, come in, I have much to tell you" when they arrived at the door.

"Off to a good start, I think," Augustus whispered. Hazel nodded into his shoulder.

"As you see, my young friends, Lidevij has decided to rejoin me," Van Houten said brightly, taking a seat in his worn-out black living room chair.

"I have, and it is an absolute pleasure to see you two again! I assure you, Peter has changed much," Lidevij smiled, her red hair as red as ever.

"Take a seat, please," Van Houten waved his hand to the couch that Augustus and Hazel had sat near each other on, but not too near. This time, they sat leg-to-leg.

"I trust everything has been well," the author nodded, taking in the view.

"We're very well, thank you," Augustus said.

"Excellent. Now, let's cut straight to the point. You have come here under the impression that you are to gain answers about Anna's future, correct?" Van Houten wondered, though he knew the answer.

"Yes, but I still highly doubt that you're going to give them to us," Hazel replied dryly.

"Ah, you are a smart girl, Miss. Lancaster," the grey man nodded his head. Hazel had figured him out.

"Unfortunately, you will not be hearing about Anna today, Miss Lancaster."

"That's misleading," Augustus pointed out.

"Well, Mr. Waters, we will be nearing the point of this conversation shortly," Van Houten said, "Anna is not a character whom I currently wish to write about. She is a fragment of my past, a shard of me that I no longer would like to keep in place. You see, I have broken, and among my pieces is Anna. But, recently, I was rebuilt a bit. There are new pieces in place, and, therefore, a new novel in the process of being written."

"You're writing another book?" Hazel wondered feverishly, hand grasping Augustus'.

"I believe that was the nature of my statement," Van Houten replied almost snobbishly.

"Well, what's it about?" Gus asked.

"Time, Mr. Waters. It's about the sluttiness of time, and how quickly it is pulled away from us."

"When can we read it?" Hazel wondered. True, Van Houten had been an ass to her and Augustus, but also true, he was her favorite author.

"Today, if you'd like. I have two copies completed specially for the two of you," Peter said simply, handing two books over. They were gorgeous, light blue with delicate gold outlinings, and a lovely drawing in the middle.

"Thank you. This is... amazing," Hazel decided. Sure, she had wanted the answers to Anna's story, but new books were also fantastic.

"This is really great, yeah. Thanks, man," Augustus echoed.

"I do hope you enjoy them, friends," Van Houten said brightly. The book was titled 'Our Faults Of Time', and Hazel couldn't wait to read it on the plane ride home.

"Thank you for your time, Van Houten," Hazel smiled, shaking hands with her favorite author.

"Thank you for your energy, Miss Lancaster and Mr. Waters," he replied. Augustus also shook hands with him before noticing the lack of alcohol in the room. Lidevij walked the couple out, giving them both hugs before sending them on their way.

"Well, that was... interesting," Augustus laughed when he and Hazel were standing by the park again.

"It was amazing!" Hazel exclaimed, hugging Augustus. He wrapped his arms around her and they rocked.

"That was not what I imagined happening."

"Me either," Hazel whispered into Augustus' jacket.

"Do you want to go back to my hotel room?" he asked.

"I've heard worse ideas, and you've been awfully Augustinian," Hazel murmured. Augustus' face lit up.

**So let's just say he got his repeat. ;) Guys, this was the longest chapter I've written for this story! Thank you for waiting. Hopefully, you enjoyed it! I'll be posting a new chapter very very soon! x**


	8. Selfish

Selfish

It lit up like a Christmas Tree. The PET scan, that was. Augustus Waters was practically made out of cancer. When the scan came back with most of his torso covered in lights indicating cancer, Augustus buried his head in his hands. He was not a selfish person. While his parents cried into each other because they were going to lose their son, Augustus could only think of how his inevitable death would affect Hazel. She deserved a life, even if it was a short one, and he knew she would insist on sharing it with him. No, Augustus Waters was not a selfish person. The whole affair sort of disgusted him; he could see his parents crying in the corner of the lab, and knew it was because their son was dying. And, for some reason, Augustus thought that was selfish of them. Of course, they would miss their son, but they would miss him because of all the things he gave them. Th e love, the comfort... all of it. It's very pretentious to say that the parents of a dying teenager are selfish. But, everyone knew that Augustus Waters was quite the pretentious person.

He didn't plan on telling Hazel about his cancer until they could fall in love, though he was already very close to that point. But the world is not a wish granting factory, and before Augustus had the chance to think about a future where Hazel was living without him, he thought he might be having a future where he was living without Hazel.

The call came early on a Saturday morning, the day after Gus was diagnosed. He picked it up on the second ring.

"Hello, Gus?" Mr. Lancaster's shaky voice came through the line. For several seconds, Augustus couldn't find the strength to speak. He was expecting the worst, expecting weeks of crying and absolute brokenness, only to have it all end and be reunited with his Hazel Grace.

"Hello, Mr. Lancaster," Gus finally managed to choke out.

"Gus, I don't have the best news," Hazel's father said.

"Is Hazel okay?" Gus asked, his voice barely coming out a whisper.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said she was. Gus, Hazel's in the ICU. She has fluid in her lungs," Augustus could almost hear the sobs in the background, probably Hazel's mother.

"Is she... is she going to be okay?" Augustus asked, not sounding anything like the sexy Gus Hazel had met.

"We're not quite sure yet. I'm sorry, Augustus," Michael Lancaster said. Gus thought it was fantastically crazy for Hazel's father to be apologizing to someone she had met just weeks ago. Sure, they had been the best weeks of his life, but they'd still only been weeks.

"Um, yeah. Thank you for calling," he whispered.

"I'm sorry, Gus," Mr. Lancaster said again. It was Augustus who hung up first, tossing his phone into his pocket and rushing upstairs as fast as his prosthetic and cancer-built body would allow him. Upstairs, Gus scribbled a note for his parents and taped it to the refrigerator. It read,

_Hey Guys, _

_ I'm at the hospital. Hazel Grace is in the ICU. I'll call later. _

_ -Gus_

Speed limits were invisible to him on the drive to the hospital. He pushed 2o miles over at times, and ran as many red lights as he had to. Honestly, he couldn't have cared less about laws at that time; Hazel was the only thing he could think of. The silence in his car was deafening, but Gus could almost hear the great love of his life's screams of pain when it felt as though her head was to explode. They made him drive faster, if possible. Finally, Children's Hospital came into view, and Augustus sighed in relief. If Hazel were to go today, he would at least be with her.

He rushed into the building and right up to the front desk. It wasn't very crowded, he suspected no hospitals were crowded on Saturday mornings.

"I need to see Hazel Grace Lancaster," Augustus' booming voice demanded of the woman behind the desk.

"Are you family?" the woman asked sternly.

"No!" Gus said shrilly. Patience was nothing to him.

"Well, it's family only right now, but you can head up to the waiting room in the ICU wing," the nurse said.

"Great, great, thanks!" Augustus yelled as he ran to the waiting room.

The waiting room was brightly colored, blue and green. The tall boy sunk into a chair, which he dwarfed. His sweatshirt was rumpled, his plaid pajama bottoms wrinkled. He didn't care. Even though he knew Hazel wasn't going to walk out and greet him any time soon, Augustus kept his eyes on the wing with all of the different rooms. At one point, he knew Hazel's mom saw him, but didn't come to talk. He kept staring.

Eventually, when he'd had enough weird looks at his pajama bottoms, Augustus drove home to throw on jeans, and drove back. This time, Hazel's father came out to talk. Augustus still wasn't allowed to see her. He pretended this was okay, but when Mr. Lancaster's back was turned, Gus' shoulders fell. He just needed to see her face, to make sure she was okay. And to make sure _he _was okay. Not knowing was absolutely killing him.

Hazel's visit to the hospital was long and painful. On the second day, Augustus had had enough of knowing nothing. This set off a plan of rule breaking. When Hazel's parents had gone to the cafeteria for lunch, not before shooting Augustus sad smiles, he sneaked into her room. She didn't look well, but she was still his Hazel Grace. There were tubes hooked up to her small body, and her hands were extremely cold. But, the nails were painted this almost-black-blue, and Augustus pressed his lips to the top of Hazel's hand. He knew she couldn't hear him, but he spoke anyways.

"Hi, Hazel Grace. I have cancer too, just thought you should know. Also, I miss you, so please wake up soon," he whispered, pressing one last kiss to her cold hand. About ten minutes after his entrance, a nurse came in and ushered him out of the room, whispering something about young love. For those ten minutes, Augustus was selfish. He couldn't help almost wishing Hazel would die, so she wouldn't have to live with the fact that her Augustus was going to die, but he wanted more time to fall in love with her. So, he didn't say anything that he knew she'd hear.

Augustus' selfishness paid off, he guessed. He got he wanted; he and Hazel fell deeply in love. He left his scar. Of course, Hazel viewed the scar as more of a mark, a loving one. When he wrote to Van Houten, Augustus made sure to mention the ICU day. Someone needed to know that he was thinking of her at all times. The letter was to ask Van Houten to write a eulogy for Hazel. Augustus, being completely in love, wrote one for her as well, but it wasn't nearly as good as what he thought Van Houten could write. And so, even in the end, even as someone who fancied themselves as fantastically and improbably unselfish, Augustus was, as all humans are, selfish.

**I realize that it's probably annoying not to know when a new chapter is going to be uploaded. Let's make an actual day... Tuesdays. This story, as long as it may run (my original intention was for it to have 10 chapters, but it may have more), will be updated on Tuesdays. So, look for a new chapter on Tuesday! - Sydney x**


	9. What Matters

What Matters

**This chapter is dedicated to the lovely Brad Kavanagh, who inspired some of this. x**

Hazel realized, without great difficulty, that she was not perfect. Honestly, she hadn't always known that. Before the diagnosis, she was popular. Like, top of the social food chain popular. But, Hazel had actual friends. Along with 'followers'. But the actual friends, namely Kaitlyn and Matt, had helped her realize that she wasn't perfect. That realization came quickly in sixth grade, and was extremely reinforced in eighth grade, when the diagnosis came. Her friends had tried to help her through the cancer, but when they realized there was no _through, _they started to just be there. Hazel didn't remember a friendship where she could literally tell the other person _everything _for three straight years. Sure, Kaitlyn was quite close to the point where Hazel could confide in her, but she wasn't exactly there. Kaitlyn had too many friends to be one individual's confidant. So, Hazel told her mother everything. Until Augustus Waters came along.

He started out as just a best friend who was entirely attractive and a bit promiscuous, turned into a perfect best friend who knew everything and anything about Hazel but was still a massive crush, and then turned into the great love of her life. Augustus had a ton of friends, even through the cancer, because there was actually a _through_. Unfortunately, none of them were as metaphorically inclined as he was, which made it rather difficult for him to get along with them. Isaac was the exception. He, in Augustus' mind, was the perfect best friend. He liked video games, was dryly hilarious, very sarcastic, and, as a plus, understood the side effects of cancer. So, Isaac became Augustus' best friend. And then Hazel came along. She started out as a best friend whom Augustus had a massive crush on, turned into a very best friend who Augustus was in love with, and ended up as the great love of his life. So all went well.

Augustus picked up his phone, intending to call Hazel.

"Hazel Grace," he said in lieu of her picking up.

"Augustus," she responded in a very Hazel-like fashion.

"How would you be up for meeting me at Funky Bones in, say, fifteen minutes?" Augustus asked, twirling an unlit cigarette between his fingers.

"I'm in," Hazel decided. It was eight at night, and rather dark out, but who was she to deny a night with her love while they were both sick?

"Excellent. I'll see you in fifteen minutes, Hazel Grace." The line went dead.

"I'm going to meet Gus at the park," Hazel called as she walked slowly down the stairs into the living room.

"Okay, but you can't keep doing this, honey," her mom said.

"Doing what?" Hazel asked like a sassy sixteen year old, which she supposed she was.

"Leaving us to see Augustus," her father replied.

"I'm sorry, I guess. I just, I mean, we don't have much time left, neither of us do, and to be honest, we'd like to spend that time with each other. I'll spend time with you guys too, I promise, but right now, I really need to spend it with Gus," the teenager said. Her parents nodded.

"Okay, well, be back no later than ten," Franny Lancaster decided.

"I will!" Hazel called, walking to the front door.

The drive over to Funky Bones was boring. It was late, there weren't too many cars out, and it was boring. But, Hazel figured that the end result would be worth the drive. And she was right.

Hazel sauntered up the path until Funky Bones came into view. With it came Augustus, in a blue button down and khaki pants, standing by a picnic set up and little lights.

"Augustus," Hazel whispered.

"Like what you see?" he asked, flicking his eyebrows. Hazel nodded, laughing, and Augustus gathered her into his arms. There was a radio nearby, and a slow song came on.

"May I have this dance, Hazel Grace?" Augustus whispered, holding out his hand.

"I can't dance, Augustus," Hazel said nervously.

"Who said anything about being good at dancing?" Gus inclined. Hazel shrugged, but took her boyfriend's hand. He pulled her close to his chest, so she could lay her head on it, and began to sway. He made sure to not make Hazel have to expel too much energy so she could breathe, and made sure not to hurt himself too much. Hazel could hear the faster-than-normal beating of Augustus' heart, and knew it wasn't all because it was working too hard.

"Calm down, Gus, it's just me," she whispered, "I can hear your heart."

"I know, it's just that being with you reminds me how much I like living, and how much I hate having to leave you," he said absentmindedly, pulling Hazel closer.

"I hate that you have to leave too, Gus. I love you, you know," Hazel murmered. Augustus could never hear that too much.

"I love you too, Hazel Grace," he responded quietly. And in that moment, though there were parents at home, and friends in town, and a little group of people nearby, and cancer-built inevitable death on their minds, it was just Hazel and Augustus. Just two people who shared an incredibly strong mutual love, and that was all that mattered.

**So, I don't know if I can wait another week to update. I've already written the (LAST!) chapter... what do you think? If we get to 20+ reviews by Wednesday (tomorrow) evening, I'll post the new chapter that night. This is a very easy challenge, guys, just 2 reviews more! - Sydney x**


	10. Feels Like Forever

Feels Like Forever

**This chapter is dedicated to Tom Odell and his beautiful song "Long Way Down". And, of course, to all of you, for reading. THANK YOU. You guys are fab, you got to 23 reviews from 18 in just two hours! So here's your early update, six days early. I love you all! x**

Augustus was dying. There is no good, no easy way to put it. Augustus Waters was inevitably dying. And that killed Hazel more than her cancer could ever kill her. The Last Good Day was, what Hazel had predicted, Augustus' actual _last good day_. As in, every day after that sucked like Hell. She tried incredibly hard to envision Gus as her lanky, metaphorically inclined, charismatic Augustus, but, as he had expressed so many times to her, he didn't feel like an Augustus. That was a strong name. 'No', he would say, 'I feel like a Gus'. Hazel wanted to, in Marius Pontmercy fashion, say "Augustus, you're going to live. If I could close your wounds with words of love...", but she knew, as much as it hurt, that he wasn't going to live. You can say as much as you want to, but it doesn't mean anything if it isn't true.

"Hazel Grace, always a pleasure," Gus said upon Hazel entering his living room.

"I could say the same to you," she smiled, grasping her boyfriend's hand.

"They've left so we can talk," Gus announced, referring to his sisters and parents.

"That was kind of them."

"Not really, they just pity me."

"I don't."

"That's why you're here," Gus said sadly.

"No, it's not. I'm here because I love you," Hazel argued.

"And because I'm dying. You can't forget that," the inevitably dying boy sighed.

"I don't think you're dying. I just think you've got a little touch of cancer," Hazel lied. Really, she just wanted to give him the memory of Amsterdam with her words.

"Oh my God, I'm going to miss you so much," Gus suddenly burst out, "I don't even know how the whole dying thing works, like, if I get to watch all of you down here, but that doesn't matter, because even if I'm nothing, I'm still going to _miss you_." Hazel was crying now.

"You can never love someone as much as you can miss them," she whispered. "You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you."

"If it's anywhere near as much as I'm going to miss you, then I'm so sorry, Hazel Grace," Gus decided.

"Yeah, I think it's pretty close," Hazel said. Tears were still running down her face, and they were now doing the same on Gus.

"We're both screwed over." Gus was blunt. At this point in his failing life, he didn't need to sugarcoat anything, especially not with Hazel.

"That does seem to be how the world works in our favor, doesn't it?" she asked.

"What an unfortunate turn of events," Gus agreed.

"Hazel Grace," he said softly, "I'm exhausted, but please... don't leave me." He hated feeling that way, so pathetic and needy.

"I would never leave you, Gus," Hazel whispered. With that, she climbed into his hospital bed, tucking herself as close to him as his pain would allow her, and let him drift off to sleep knowing that his Hazel Grace was by his side.

Hazel wished she could say Gus was the same Augustus Waters she had fallen in love with. While she was still in love with him, he really wasn't the same. He wasn't cracking any jokes. He didn't give her sexy smiles. He wasn't even relatively strong, though Hazel doubted he ever was. His parents said that while he was in the hospital, before he passed out, he just wanted to die.

"I hate this. I hate hating myself. I hate this _pain. _I hate knowing that I'm not going to wake up and see you guys or Hazel or anything at all. I hate it I hate it I hate it," he'd apparently said.

"Gus, honey, it'll go quickly when it happens," his mother cried.

"It's happening, and it feels like forever."

**Well guys, that's it! See, my plan was to do ten chapters of this story, and this is the tenth. But, I'm dabbling with the idea of adding a few prompted chapters after this one. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that, as they have to be **_**prompted**_**, but if anyone sends in a prompt, I might try to make it happen. ;) Thank you all for your support with this story, I appreciate it! - Sydney x**


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